He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize