coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need water and some morals
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
