im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
