Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
