guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
