Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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