what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
