There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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