This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
