i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
