hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
