Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
