Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
