Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
