Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
bring money and cleavage
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The air was thick with penises
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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