Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
