Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
