Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
