I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
