Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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