um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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