R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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