Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I need to align my fucking chakras
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
