I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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