my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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