Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
