I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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