We had to coat check the pizza.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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