i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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