My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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