I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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