Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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