You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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