i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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