I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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