i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
