Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize