Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
