she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
