every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize