BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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