i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
