Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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