the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
