K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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