I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
