So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
