Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
