I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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