you guys were way drunker than both of me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
