I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
