A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
