it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
