Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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