bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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