ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I want her autograph on my taint
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
