he shaved USA in his pubs
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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