Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize