My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
