This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
