I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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