Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize