Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
