I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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