She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
