He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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