His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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