His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i now understand why vodka
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize