bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
