sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
