im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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