At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
