You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
