Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
