I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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