I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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