I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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