woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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