you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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