haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
